{"id":736,"date":"2026-02-12T18:45:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-12T18:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/?p=736"},"modified":"2026-06-29T19:11:43","modified_gmt":"2026-06-29T19:11:43","slug":"le-mec-qui-aide-les-techs-et-qui-peut-flinguer-un-concert-en-touchant-un-cable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/12\/le-mec-qui-aide-les-techs-et-qui-peut-flinguer-un-concert-en-touchant-un-cable\/","title":{"rendered":"LE MEC QUI \u00ab AIDE LES TECHS \u00bb ET QUI PEUT FLINGUER UN CONCERT EN TOUCHANT UN C\u00c2BLE"},"content":{"rendered":"

(S\u00e9rie d\u2019observation hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. Aujourd\u2019hui : un sp\u00e9cimen redoutable. Celui qui veut aider les techs. Le cauchemar des professionnels. Et parfois, il monte sur sc\u00e8ne)<\/em><\/p>\n

Classification<\/h2>\n

Homo Intervientus Sans Invitation<\/p>\n

Cat\u00e9gorie : perturbateur technique non homologu\u00e9<\/p>\n

Statut : danger grave imminent<\/p>\n

Il n\u2019appara\u00eet jamais<\/strong> quand tout va bien.<\/p>\n

Uniquement quand une tech est d\u00e9j\u00e0 en PLS, genou au sol, lampe frontale allum\u00e9e, en train de jongler avec trois DI, un c\u00e2ble mort et un retour qui siffle.<\/p>\n

Il surgit du n\u00e9ant.<\/p>\n

Sourire g\u00e9n\u00e9reux. \u00c9nergie golden retriever bourr\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Et il prononce la phrase interdite :<\/p>\n

\u00ab Attends, je t\u2019tiens \u00e7a. \u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c0 cet instant pr\u00e9cis, les techs ressentent une douleur diffuse dans le foie.<\/p>\n

Comportement typique<\/h2>\n

\n touche toujours le seul c\u00e2ble critique
\n pose sa bi\u00e8re sur le retour \u00ab parce qu\u2019il fait gaffe \u00bb
\n met son pied sur un flight-case qui vaut le prix d\u2019une Twingo
\n d\u00e9place un retour sans autorisation
\n souffle dans un micro (crime de guerre)
\n parle \u00e0 la r\u00e9gie comme si c\u2019\u00e9tait son oncle
\n dit \u00ab c\u2019est ton truc qui marche pas \u00bb
\n applaudit quand une DI re-sonne comme s\u2019il avait r\u00e9par\u00e9 le monde\n <\/p>\n

D\u00e9clinaisons connues<\/h2>\n

Le porte-matelas acoustique<\/strong><\/p>\n

Il aide \u00e0 ranger.<\/p>\n

Prend un panneau. Le pose \u00e0 l\u2019envers.<\/p>\n

La sc\u00e8ne gagne 40 % d\u2019\u00e9cho.<\/p>\n

Le tech respire dans un sac.<\/p>\n

Le manipulateur d\u2019objets sacr\u00e9s<\/strong><\/p>\n

Touche la guitare.<\/p>\n

Dit \u00ab je voulais voir si c\u2019\u00e9tait lourd \u00bb.<\/p>\n

Le tech imagine sa reconversion.<\/p>\n

Le roi du c\u00e2ble<\/strong><\/p>\n

Demande \u00ab je tire ? \u00bb<\/p>\n

Tire avant la r\u00e9ponse.<\/p>\n

Arrache trois trucs.<\/p>\n

Dit \u00ab ah ouais bizarre \u00bb.<\/p>\n

Le roadie auto-proclam\u00e9<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00ab Dans mon ancien groupe, on faisait comme \u00e7a. \u00bb<\/p>\n

Personne ne conna\u00eet son groupe.<\/p>\n

C\u2019est normal.<\/p>\n

Le crash-barrier consultant<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tape sur le retour : \u00ab y\u2019a pas de voix. \u00bb<\/p>\n

Tente de r\u00e9gler un micro.<\/p>\n

Les techs visualisent un b\u00fbcher.<\/p>\n

Le slamer squatter<\/strong><\/p>\n

Monte sur sc\u00e8ne.<\/p>\n

Se prend dans un p\u00e9dalier.<\/p>\n

\u00c9teint un retour.<\/p>\n

Le bassiste chante a cappella.<\/p>\n

Le chaos applaudit.<\/p>\n

Niveau de danger<\/h2>\n

Un seul geste = un Larsen.<\/p>\n

Un Larsen = un tech qui pleure du sang.<\/p>\n

Indice d\u2019humiliation<\/h2>\n

Pour lui : 0 % (fier comme un pigeon)<\/p>\n

Pour les autres : 100 % (attentat technique en direct)<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/h2>\n

C\u2019est le seul \u00eatre humain capable de foutre en l\u2019air un festival entier avec la phrase :<\/p>\n

\u00ab T\u2019inqui\u00e8te, je g\u00e8re. \u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Il ne g\u00e8re rien.<\/p>\n

Il intervient.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 suivre.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Demain : la zone \u00e0 l\u2019ombre o\u00f9 y\u2019a personne. Le pi\u00e8ge absolu.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(S\u00e9rie d\u2019observation hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. Aujourd\u2019hui : un sp\u00e9cimen redoutable. Celui qui veut aider les techs. Le cauchemar des professionnels. Et parfois, il monte sur sc\u00e8ne) Classification Homo Intervientus Sans Invitation Cat\u00e9gorie : perturbateur technique non homologu\u00e9 Statut : danger grave imminent Il n\u2019appara\u00eet jamais quand tout va bien. Uniquement quand une […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":737,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,23],"tags":[1695,1785,756,1786,42,1362,724,1789,1787,76,1788],"class_list":["post-736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cartographie-de-fosse","category-specimens","tag-anthropologie-festivaliere","tag-backstage","tag-cartographie-de-fosse","tag-coulisses-de-concert","tag-festival","tag-humour-musical","tag-musique-live","tag-regisseur","tag-roadie","tag-specimens-de-fosse","tag-tech-son"],"yoast_head":"\nLE MEC QUI \u00ab AIDE LES TECHS \u00bb ET QUI PEUT FLINGUER UN CONCERT EN TOUCHANT UN C\u00c2BLE - Fosse Commune<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/12\/le-mec-qui-aide-les-techs-et-qui-peut-flinguer-un-concert-en-touchant-un-cable\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"LE MEC QUI \u00ab AIDE LES TECHS \u00bb ET QUI PEUT FLINGUER UN CONCERT EN TOUCHANT UN C\u00c2BLE - Fosse Commune\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(S\u00e9rie d\u2019observation hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. Aujourd\u2019hui : un sp\u00e9cimen redoutable. Celui qui veut aider les techs. Le cauchemar des professionnels. Et parfois, il monte sur sc\u00e8ne) Classification Homo Intervientus Sans Invitation Cat\u00e9gorie : perturbateur technique non homologu\u00e9 Statut : danger grave imminent Il n\u2019appara\u00eet jamais quand tout va bien. 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