{"id":721,"date":"2026-02-10T14:41:00","date_gmt":"2026-02-10T14:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/?p=721"},"modified":"2026-03-21T14:42:58","modified_gmt":"2026-03-21T14:42:58","slug":"le-mec-qui-veut-que-le-groupe-le-remarque","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/10\/le-mec-qui-veut-que-le-groupe-le-remarque\/","title":{"rendered":"LE MEC QUI VEUT QUE LE GROUPE LE REMARQUE"},"content":{"rendered":"

(S\u00e9rie d\u2019observation hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. Aujourd\u2019hui : le sp\u00e9cimen visuel. Jean-Michel Regarde-Moi, alias le Projecteur Autoport\u00e9, alias l\u2019\u00c9clipse Totale du Concert)<\/em><\/p>\n

Classification<\/h2>\n

Homo Attentionus Intensivus.<\/p>\n

Sous-cat\u00e9gorie : perturbateur lumineux non l\u00e9tal.<\/p>\n

Habitat naturel<\/h2>\n

Toujours au premier rang. Toujours dans l\u2019axe.<\/p>\n

Toujours dans ton champ de vision, du groupe, des cam\u00e9ras, du drone, et possiblement de la Station Spatiale Internationale.<\/p>\n

Comportement g\u00e9n\u00e9ral<\/h2>\n

Tu viens pour voir un concert.<\/p>\n

Lui vient pour \u00eatre vu par un concert.<\/p>\n

Ce n\u2019est pas du narcissisme. C\u2019est un art martial rat\u00e9. Une tentative de devenir moment viral \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9tat brut.<\/p>\n

Signaux d\u2019alerte<\/h2>\n

\n pancarte A3 \u00e9crite au marqueur agonisant : PLAY MY FAVOURITE SONG
\n d\u00e9guisement : banane, panda, slip fluo, combi de ski en juin
\n selfie stick utilis\u00e9 comme arme blanche
\n cris hors-sujet : JE T\u2019AIME KEVIN (dans un groupe sans Kevin)
\n bras lev\u00e9s fa\u00e7on Titanic pour capter la cam\u00e9ra
\n drapeau de d\u00e9partement (aucune utilit\u00e9 strat\u00e9gique)
\n tentatives de lancer un cadeau sur sc\u00e8ne (assomme un innocent)\n <\/p>\n

Sous-esp\u00e8ces<\/h2>\n

1. Le panneau \u00e9motionnel<\/strong><\/p>\n

Panneau : C\u2019EST MON ANNIVERSAIRE, J\u2019AI FAIT 600 KM, J\u2019AIME VOTRE CHIEN.<\/p>\n

R\u00e9action du groupe : aucune.<\/p>\n

R\u00e9action du public : fuite.<\/p>\n

Il insiste : ICI. ICI.<\/p>\n

Personne ne veut \u00eatre ici.<\/p>\n

2. Le lanceur d\u2019objets pas demand\u00e9s<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n tong en libert\u00e9
\n soutien-gorge fatigu\u00e9
\n peluche douteuse
\n dessin d\u2019enfant traumatisant
\n bouteille vide (arme contondante)\n <\/p>\n

Regard du bassiste : arr\u00eate imm\u00e9diatement, fils du flan.<\/p>\n

3. Le tonaliseur de plateau<\/strong><\/p>\n

Crie le pr\u00e9nom du chanteur toutes les douze secondes.<\/p>\n

Toujours le m\u00eame : WOUHOUUU JULIIIIEN.<\/p>\n

Personne ne s\u2019appelle Julien. Pas m\u00eame lui.<\/p>\n

4. Le munitionnaire de flash<\/strong><\/p>\n

Filme tout, flash allum\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Projet stroboscopique non homologu\u00e9.<\/p>\n

C\u00e9cit\u00e9 temporaire garantie pour tout musicien \u00e0 moins de 8 m\u00e8tres.<\/p>\n

5. Le faux-malade opportuniste<\/strong><\/p>\n

Se tient l\u2019\u00e9paule soudainement.<\/p>\n

Regard dramatique vers la s\u00e9cu : \u00ab Je crois que je dois aller\u2026 devant la sc\u00e8ne. \u00bb<\/p>\n

La s\u00e9cu : non. Le public : non. Dieu : non.<\/p>\n

Gravit\u00e9 pour le concert<\/h2>\n

\u00c9lev\u00e9e.<\/p>\n

Peut d\u00e9tourner l\u2019attention, casser un set, ou transformer un moment calme en sketch involontaire.<\/p>\n

Gravit\u00e9 pour lui-m\u00eame<\/h2>\n

Z\u00e9ro lucidit\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Croit r\u00e9ellement que le groupe parlera de lui dans le tour-bus.<\/p>\n

Peut imaginer qu\u2019on \u00e9crira une chanson sur son panneau A3.<\/p>\n

(Non.)<\/p>\n

Facteur comique<\/h2>\n

Maximum.<\/p>\n

Surtout quand il rate un geste, se retourne, cherche l\u2019approbation\u2026<\/p>\n

Et voit cinquante personnes secouer la t\u00eate.<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/h2>\n

Ce mec ne vient pas voir un concert.<\/p>\n

Il vient remplacer un concert.<\/p>\n

Et dans certains cas\u2026 il y arrive presque.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 suivre.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Demain : le camping de festival. Zone r\u00e9serv\u00e9e aux vrais, aux inconscients et aux insomniaques chroniques.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(S\u00e9rie d\u2019observation hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. Aujourd\u2019hui : le sp\u00e9cimen visuel. Jean-Michel Regarde-Moi, alias le Projecteur Autoport\u00e9, alias l\u2019\u00c9clipse Totale du Concert) Classification Homo Attentionus Intensivus. Sous-cat\u00e9gorie : perturbateur lumineux non l\u00e9tal. Habitat naturel Toujours au premier rang. Toujours dans l\u2019axe. Toujours dans ton champ de vision, du groupe, des cam\u00e9ras, du drone, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":722,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,23],"tags":[202,201,208],"class_list":["post-721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cartographie-de-fosse","category-specimens","tag-anthropologie-punk","tag-observation-de-terrain","tag-public-bizarre"],"yoast_head":"\nLE MEC QUI VEUT QUE LE GROUPE LE REMARQUE - Fosse Commune<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/10\/le-mec-qui-veut-que-le-groupe-le-remarque\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"LE MEC QUI VEUT QUE LE GROUPE LE REMARQUE - Fosse Commune\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(S\u00e9rie d\u2019observation hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. 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