{"id":362,"date":"2025-11-29T20:09:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-29T20:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/?p=362"},"modified":"2026-08-10T06:35:19","modified_gmt":"2026-08-10T06:35:19","slug":"cabaret-vert-2024-journee-boue-apocalypse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/29\/cabaret-vert-2024-journee-boue-apocalypse\/","title":{"rendered":"CABARET VERT 2024 : JOURN\u00c9E BOUE APOCALYPSE"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cabaret Vert 2024 : Korn, Shaka Ponk, Mass Hysteria, Nova Twins et une journ\u00e9e de boue apocalyptique dans les Ardennes<\/h2>\n

(le jour o\u00f9 la terre a d\u00e9cid\u00e9 de nous manger)<\/em><\/p>\n

Il y a des concerts qui changent la couleur de tes chaussures jusqu\u2019en f\u00e9vrier.<\/p>\n

Cabaret Vert 2024.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Korn \/ Shaka Ponk \/ Mass Hysteria \/ Nova Twins. C\u2019\u00e9tait le programme du jour.<\/p>\n

Je savais que \u00e7a allait \u00eatre physique mais pas fa\u00e7on Koh-Lanta \u00e9dition Verdun.<\/p>\n

CHRONOLOGIE D\u2019UNE JOURN\u00c9E QUI N\u2019A VOULU LE BIEN DE PERSONNE<\/h2>\n

\u00c0 15h :<\/strong>
\nOn marchait. On pataugeait. On glissait.
\nLe sol nous regardait avec un sourire carnivore.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 18h10 :<\/strong>
\nMa casquette a d\u00e9cid\u00e9 de tenter sa chance \u00e0 Razorback.
\nElle a saut\u00e9 dans la boue.
\nJe l\u2019ai rep\u00each\u00e9e.
\nL\u2019odeur n\u2019est jamais partie.
\nElle hante encore ma voiture.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 18h20 :<\/strong>
\nOn se perchait sur tout ce qui avait vaguement la gueule d\u2019un truc sec.
\nUn rocher ? Une racine ? Une canette vide ?
\nOn prenait.
\nS\u2019asseoir ? Impossible.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 19h30 :<\/strong>
\nMa montre connect\u00e9e a p\u00e9t\u00e9 un c\u00e2ble.
\nElle a d\u00e9cid\u00e9 que je faisais du spinning, puis du ski de fond, puis (je cite) une activit\u00e9 inconnue.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 00h :<\/strong>
\nJ\u2019ai constat\u00e9 de la boue dans mes oreilles.
\nPas autour.
\nDedans.<\/strong><\/p>\n

LE SOL<\/h2>\n

Un organe vivant.
\nUne entit\u00e9 hostile.
\nUn ventre mou qui voulait nous avaler un par un.<\/p>\n

En trois secondes immobile t\u2019\u00e9tais solidaire g\u00e9ologiquement avec les Ardennes.<\/p>\n

COMPOSITION OFFICIELLE DE LA BOUE<\/h2>\n

Personne ne sait vraiment ce qu\u2019il y avait dans cette mixture.
\nMais d\u2019apr\u00e8s la texture, l\u2019odeur et la r\u00e9sistance :<\/p>\n

\n\u2013 35% d\u2019eau de pluie m\u00e9di\u00e9vale
\n\u2013 30% de terre locale riche en d\u00e9sespoir agricole
\n\u2013 15% de bi\u00e8re renvers\u00e9e (pils, essentiellement)
\n\u2013 10% de larmes de festivalier
\n\u2013 5% de je veux pas savoir. Jamais.
\n\u2013 5% de mati\u00e8re inconnue qu\u2019on ne retrouve que sur les sites post-apocalyptiques\n<\/p>\n

On a tous senti, \u00e0 un moment donn\u00e9, que ce sol \u00e9tait vivant.<\/p>\n

S\u2019il y avait eu un laboratoire sur place, il aurait demand\u00e9 \u00e0 ce que la cr\u00e9ature soit class\u00e9e zone Seveso.<\/p>\n

Mes Docs<\/strong> ont fait leur service militaire ce soir-l\u00e0.
\nElles ont vu des choses.<\/p>\n

Ma voiture<\/strong> au retour ? Pourrie.<\/p>\n

Le site du Cabaret Vert ?<\/strong> Retourn\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Je te jure : dans 200 ans, des arch\u00e9ologues vont creuser Cabaret Vert et tomber sur :<\/p>\n

\n\u2013 des Docs soud\u00e9es par la glaise
\n\u2013 un bob grenouille
\n\u2013 un chouchou fluo
\n\u2013 un tee-shirt Corpus Delicti de 1993
\n\u2013 une cl\u00e9 USB contenant Wet Leg en concert
\n\u2013 trois pintes p\u00e9trifi\u00e9es
\n\u2013 un reste de stand Razorback\n<\/p>\n

J\u2019ai v\u00e9rifi\u00e9 sur Google Earth quelques semaines apr\u00e8s.<\/p>\n

Le satellite ne savait m\u00eame pas quoi afficher.<\/p>\n

Une zone brune, boursoufl\u00e9e, traumatis\u00e9e.<\/p>\n

Comme si le sol lui-m\u00eame avait demand\u00e9 un arr\u00eat maladie.<\/p>\n

SP\u00c9CIMENS OBSERV\u00c9S DANS LA FOSSE<\/h2>\n

\n\u2013 une proth\u00e8se de jambe slamer. Si. Vraiment. Avec les encouragements du propri\u00e9taire, hilare.
\n\u2013 des guerriers nus couverts de glaise
\n\u2013 le clown le plus creepy de l\u2019histoire des clowns de festival
\n\u2013 des gens qui ont l\u00e2ch\u00e9 l\u2019affaire. Le cul dans la glaise. \u00ab J\u2019abandonne. Je m\u2019en fous. Je m\u2019assoie. \u00bb\n<\/p>\n

M\u00eame Jonathan Davis<\/strong> nous a regard\u00e9s comme si on sortait d\u2019un documentaire animalier.<\/p>\n

On ressemblait \u00e0 des cormorans mazout\u00e9s.
\n\u00c0 des survivants.
\n\u00c0 des reliques pr\u00e9historiques.<\/p>\n

On bougeait tout le temps :<\/p>\n

\npas pour danser,
\npas pour profiter,
\njuste pour NE PAS MOURIR ASPIR\u00c9ES<\/strong> par la boue carnivore.\n<\/p>\n

C\u2019\u00e9tait sublime.<\/strong>
\nC\u2019\u00e9tait immonde.<\/strong>
\nC\u2019\u00e9tait la fosse.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cabaret Vert 2024 : Korn, Shaka Ponk, Mass Hysteria, Nova Twins et une boue tellement \u00e9paisse qu\u2019elle semblait avoir d\u00e9velopp\u00e9 une conscience propre. Retour sur une journ\u00e9e o\u00f9 les Ardennes ont tent\u00e9 de nous avaler.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":363,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,27],"tags":[53,2310,2308,1352,1458,1459,2309,2307,678,848,2311],"class_list":["post-362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-festival-retour-de-fosse","category-retour-de-fosse","tag-cabaret-vert","tag-cabaret-vert-2024","tag-festival-boue","tag-festival-rock","tag-jonathan-davis","tag-korn","tag-mass-hysteria","tag-nova-twins","tag-razorback","tag-retour-de-fosse","tag-shaka-ponk"],"yoast_head":"\nCABARET VERT 2024 : JOURN\u00c9E BOUE APOCALYPSE - Fosse Commune<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/29\/cabaret-vert-2024-journee-boue-apocalypse\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"CABARET VERT 2024 : JOURN\u00c9E BOUE APOCALYPSE - Fosse Commune\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Cabaret Vert 2024 : Korn, Shaka Ponk, Mass Hysteria, Nova Twins et une boue tellement \u00e9paisse qu\u2019elle semblait avoir d\u00e9velopp\u00e9 une conscience propre. 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