{"id":1312,"date":"2026-07-02T08:27:04","date_gmt":"2026-07-02T08:27:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/?p=1312"},"modified":"2026-07-10T08:28:20","modified_gmt":"2026-07-10T08:28:20","slug":"le-point-de-rendez-vous-ou-comment-perdre-5-amis-en-moins-de-12-minutes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2026\/07\/02\/le-point-de-rendez-vous-ou-comment-perdre-5-amis-en-moins-de-12-minutes\/","title":{"rendered":"LE POINT DE RENDEZ-VOUS OU COMMENT PERDRE 5 AMIS EN MOINS DE 12 MINUTES"},"content":{"rendered":"

(S\u00e9rie pr\u00e9ventive estivale \u00e0 destination des gens qui disent \u00ab t\u2019inqui\u00e8te je g\u00e8re \u00bb. Derni\u00e8res recommandations pour les innocents de la fosse.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Nous devons parler des points de rendez-vous.<\/p>\n

Parce qu\u2019\u00e0 un moment donn\u00e9\u2026<\/p>\n

Vous allez vous perdre.<\/p>\n

Ce n\u2019est pas une possibilit\u00e9.<\/p>\n

C\u2019est une \u00e9tape normale du festival.<\/p>\n

DIAGNOSTIC<\/h2>\n

Le groupe est encore complet.<\/p>\n

Tout le monde est confiant.<\/p>\n

Quelqu\u2019un dit :<\/p>\n

\u00ab Si on se perd, on se retrouve \u00e0 gauche de la sc\u00e8ne. \u00bb<\/p>\n

Personne ne pose de question.<\/p>\n

Erreur.<\/p>\n

RAPPEL SCIENTIFIQUE<\/h2>\n

Une sc\u00e8ne poss\u00e8de :<\/p>\n

\u2705 une gauche public
\n\u2705 une gauche artiste
\n\u2705 une gauche quand tu regardes la sc\u00e8ne
\n\u2705 une gauche quand tu en sors<\/p>\n

Vous n\u2019avez pas choisi le m\u00eame r\u00e9f\u00e9rentiel.<\/p>\n

Vous \u00eates d\u00e9j\u00e0 s\u00e9par\u00e9s.<\/p>\n

LES FAUX BONS POINTS DE RENDEZ-VOUS<\/h2>\n

\u2705 le bar. Il y en a 25.
\n\u2705 les toilettes. Et pourquoi ?
\n\u2705 la grande roue. Les 80 000 autres aussi.
\n\u2705 le food truck mexicain. Lequel ?
\n\u2705 devant la Mainstage. Tr\u00e8s bien.<\/p>\n

On se retrouve parmi plusieurs dizaines de milliers de personnes.<\/p>\n

Bonne chance.<\/p>\n

CONNERIE \u00c0 \u00c9VITER<\/h2>\n

\u00ab Je vais juste chercher une bi\u00e8re. \u00bb<\/p>\n

Cette phrase marque officiellement le d\u00e9but de trois heures d\u2019enqu\u00eate.<\/p>\n

Le sujet reviendra.<\/p>\n

Avec une bi\u00e8re.<\/p>\n

Ou pas.<\/p>\n

Sans doute ailleurs.<\/p>\n

Ou trop tard.<\/p>\n

Mais probablement accompagn\u00e9 de trois inconnus, d\u2019un Viking et d\u2019un type d\u00e9guis\u00e9 en homard.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 FAIRE<\/h2>\n

Choisir un vrai point fixe.<\/p>\n

Un truc qui ne bouge pas.<\/p>\n

\u2705 une sculpture
\n\u2705 un panneau
\n\u2705 un arbre
\n\u2705 une tour
\n\u2705 une entr\u00e9e<\/p>\n

Pas :<\/p>\n

\u2705 un mec marrant en c\u00f4ne de chantier.<\/p>\n

Il ne sera plus l\u00e0.<\/p>\n

AUTRE CONNERIE \u00c0 \u00c9VITER<\/h2>\n

Le message :<\/p>\n

\u00ab T\u2019es o\u00f9 ? \u00bb<\/p>\n

R\u00e9ponse :<\/p>\n

\u00ab L\u00e0 ! \u00bb<\/p>\n

Merci G\u00e9rard.<\/p>\n

Les recherches progressent.<\/p>\n

LE V\u00c9T\u00c9RAN<\/h2>\n

Le v\u00e9t\u00e9ran ne dit jamais :<\/p>\n

\u00ab Je suis \u00e0 gauche. \u00bb<\/p>\n

Il dit :<\/p>\n

\u00ab Sous la tour son, c\u00f4t\u00e9 Warzone, devant le panneau 14. \u00bb<\/p>\n

Le v\u00e9t\u00e9ran a d\u00e9j\u00e0 perdu suffisamment d\u2019amis pour apprendre \u00e0 parler comme un contr\u00f4leur a\u00e9rien.<\/p>\n

CAS PARTICULIER<\/h2>\n

Le t\u00e9l\u00e9phone.<\/p>\n

Au d\u00e9but : 98 %.<\/p>\n

Puis : 41 %.<\/p>\n

Puis : 12 %.<\/p>\n

Puis : mode \u00e9conomie d\u2019\u00e9nergie.<\/p>\n

Puis : plus personne.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 partir de cet instant, vous red\u00e9couvrez une technologie ancestrale :<\/p>\n

Vous attendre r\u00e9ellement quelque part.<\/p>\n

R\u00c9ALIT\u00c9 DE TERRAIN<\/h2>\n

Il existe toujours quelqu\u2019un qui \u00e9crit :<\/p>\n

\u00ab J\u2019arrive !!! \u00bb<\/p>\n

Cette personne n\u2019arrivera jamais.<\/p>\n

Elle s\u2019est arr\u00eat\u00e9e :<\/p>\n

\u2705 acheter une bi\u00e8re
\n\u2705 regarder un groupe \u00ab juste deux morceaux \u00bb
\n\u2705 faire pipi
\n\u2705 acheter un t-shirt
\n\u2705 discuter avec quelqu\u2019un<\/p>\n

Puis elle a oubli\u00e9 pourquoi elle marchait.<\/p>\n

CONCLUSION<\/h2>\n

Le point de rendez-vous ne sert pas \u00e0 \u00e9viter de se perdre.<\/p>\n

Il sert \u00e0 rendre les retrouvailles possibles.<\/p>\n

Parce qu\u2019un festival, ce n\u2019est pas un groupe qui reste ensemble.<\/p>\n

C\u2019est des gens qui se perdent intelligemment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(S\u00e9rie pr\u00e9ventive estivale \u00e0 destination des gens qui disent \u00ab t\u2019inqui\u00e8te je g\u00e8re \u00bb. Derni\u00e8res recommandations pour les innocents de la fosse.) Nous devons parler des points de rendez-vous. Parce qu\u2019\u00e0 un moment donn\u00e9\u2026 Vous allez vous perdre. Ce n\u2019est pas une possibilit\u00e9. C\u2019est une \u00e9tape normale du festival. DIAGNOSTIC Le groupe est encore complet. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1313,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,31],"tags":[306,1577,1440,1700,1821,1819,1104,293,375,1820,331],"class_list":["post-1312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cartographie-de-fosse","category-mauvaises-decisions","tag-conseils-festival","tag-festivaliers","tag-fosse-de-concert","tag-graspop","tag-groupe-damis-festival","tag-guide-festival","tag-hellfest","tag-humour-festival","tag-organisation-festival","tag-point-de-rendez-vous-festival","tag-vie-en-festival"],"yoast_head":"\nLE POINT DE RENDEZ-VOUS OU COMMENT PERDRE 5 AMIS EN MOINS DE 12 MINUTES - Fosse Commune<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2026\/07\/02\/le-point-de-rendez-vous-ou-comment-perdre-5-amis-en-moins-de-12-minutes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"LE POINT DE RENDEZ-VOUS OU COMMENT PERDRE 5 AMIS EN MOINS DE 12 MINUTES - Fosse Commune\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(S\u00e9rie pr\u00e9ventive estivale \u00e0 destination des gens qui disent \u00ab t\u2019inqui\u00e8te je g\u00e8re \u00bb. 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Derni\u00e8res recommandations pour les innocents de la fosse.) Nous devons parler des points de rendez-vous. Parce qu\u2019\u00e0 un moment donn\u00e9\u2026 Vous allez vous perdre. Ce n\u2019est pas une possibilit\u00e9. C\u2019est une \u00e9tape normale du festival. DIAGNOSTIC Le groupe est encore complet. 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