{"id":1018,"date":"2026-04-18T10:27:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-18T10:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/?p=1018"},"modified":"2026-06-15T10:28:45","modified_gmt":"2026-06-15T10:28:45","slug":"la-prevention-auditive-ou-comment-tout-faire-bien-et-rater-quand-meme","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/18\/la-prevention-auditive-ou-comment-tout-faire-bien-et-rater-quand-meme\/","title":{"rendered":"LA PR\u00c9VENTION AUDITIVE, OU COMMENT TOUT FAIRE BIEN ET RATER QUAND M\u00caME"},"content":{"rendered":"

(S\u00e9rie hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. Aujourd\u2019hui : le stand de pr\u00e9vention auditive et les bouchons d\u2019oreilles. Autopsie d\u2019un d\u00e9sastre annonc\u00e9)<\/em><\/p>\n

Je viens d\u2019une \u00e9poque o\u00f9 on ne se prot\u00e9geait pas les oreilles. Rien. Z\u00e9ro.<\/p>\n

On pensait que nos tympans \u00e9taient r\u00e9utilisables. Que \u00ab \u00e7a va \u00bb (faux).<\/p>\n

Qu\u2019ils allaient encaisser des amplis \u00e0 fond pendant trois jours sans broncher.<\/p>\n

R\u00e9sultat : acouph\u00e8nes, sifflements, souvenirs flous et une certaine forme de connerie assum\u00e9e.<\/p>\n

Et parfois, \u00e7a devenait insupportable.<\/p>\n

Les dents et le cr\u00e2ne qui vibrent. Les tympans qui se d\u00e9crochent.<\/p>\n

Et l\u00e0, id\u00e9e lumineuse : on se collait ce qu\u2019on avait sous la main dans les oreilles.<\/p>\n

Un mouchoir de la veille. Un bout de flyer. Du PQ.<\/p>\n

Oui. Du papier toilette roul\u00e9 en boule et enfonc\u00e9 dans l\u2019oreille avec la pr\u00e9cision d\u2019un ma\u00e7on sous pression.<\/p>\n

\u00c7a d\u00e9passe. C\u2019est moche. C\u2019est inefficace. T\u2019as l\u2019air con. Mais \u00e7a donne bonne conscience.<\/p>\n

(J\u2019\u00e9tais et je reste cette personne.)<\/p>\n

Aujourd\u2019hui, on a \u00e9volu\u00e9.<\/p>\n

\u00c0 l\u2019entr\u00e9e des festivals, il y a des stands de pr\u00e9vention auditive.<\/p>\n

Des gens s\u00e9rieux. Des bouchons en libre-service. Des conseils.<\/p>\n

En th\u00e9orie, tout va bien.<\/p>\n

La faune locale<\/h2>\n

Le responsable<\/strong>
\nIl arrive. Il a d\u00e9j\u00e0 ses bouchons. Il les met correctement. Il est pr\u00eat. Il est stable. Il ne s\u2019arr\u00eate pas.<\/p>\n

L\u2019ing\u00e9 son de lui-m\u00eame<\/strong>
\nBouchons moul\u00e9s. Haute d\u00e9finition. Technologie avanc\u00e9e.
\nIl passe sa vie les doigts dans les oreilles, \u00e0 ajuster, recalibrer.
\nOn dirait qu\u2019il essaie de capter la station Mir.
\nIl ne s\u2019arr\u00eate pas.<\/p>\n

Le nihiliste<\/strong>
\nIl ne se prot\u00e8ge pas.
\nIl a surv\u00e9cu \u00e0 Slayer en 1981.
\nSes oreilles sont mit\u00e9es. Il entend la moiti\u00e9 des fr\u00e9quences et invente le reste.
\nIl ne s\u2019arr\u00eate pas non plus.<\/p>\n

L\u2019archa\u00efque<\/strong>
\nDeux feuilles de PQ.
\nToujours l\u00e0. Toujours fid\u00e8le.
\nToujours visible.
\nAucun progr\u00e8s. Aucun regret. Aucun style.
\nIl ne s\u2019arr\u00eate pas non plus.<\/p>\n

Et arrivent tous les autres.<\/p>\n

Ceux qui ont dit : \u00ab \u00e7a va aller \u00bb.<\/p>\n

Les mythos.<\/p>\n

Ils fuient les subs, regard flou, d\u00e9marche approximative, d\u00e9j\u00e0 sonn\u00e9s et \u00e0 moiti\u00e9 sourds.<\/p>\n

Ils viennent chercher des bouchons.<\/p>\n

Arrive alors le combat technique.<\/p>\n

Et l\u00e0\u2026 rien ne va.<\/p>\n

Mode d\u2019emploi officiel<\/h2>\n

1. Rouler le bouchon entre les doigts.
\n(d\u00e9j\u00e0 l\u00e0, \u00e7a part mal. T\u2019as vu tes doigts ?)<\/p>\n

2. Tirer l\u2019oreille vers le haut et l\u2019arri\u00e8re.
\n(l\u2019arri\u00e8re par rapport \u00e0 quoi ? Personne ne sait dans quel sens est \u00ab l\u2019arri\u00e8re \u00bb \u00e0 23h.)<\/p>\n

3. Ins\u00e9rer d\u00e9licatement le bouchon.
\n(\u00ab d\u00e9licatement \u00bb est un concept abstrait en festival.)<\/p>\n

4. Maintenir quelques secondes.
\n(le temps de perdre patience et l\u2019audition.)<\/p>\n

Version r\u00e9aliste<\/h2>\n

1. Tu compresses le truc comme un malade
\n2. Tu tires ton oreille dans tous les sens
\n3. Tu forces
\n4. \u00c7a glisse
\n5. \u00c7a ressort
\n6. Tu recommences
\n7. Tu jures
\n8. Tu abandonnes<\/p>\n

R\u00e9sultats probables<\/h2>\n

\u2705 un bouchon \u00e0 moiti\u00e9
\n\u2705 un bouchon de travers
\n\u2705 un bouchon qui gratte
\n\u2705 ou un bouchon disparu<\/p>\n

Et quand, miracle, \u00e7a tient\u2026 tu comprends que tu viens de changer de dimension.<\/p>\n

Le son ne vient plus de la sc\u00e8ne.<\/p>\n

Il vient de toi.<\/p>\n

Tu entends ta respiration.<\/p>\n

Tes pens\u00e9es (pas bon signe).<\/p>\n

Plus la musique.<\/p>\n

Tes pas qui r\u00e9sonnent comme si quelqu\u2019un marchait dans ta t\u00eate.<\/p>\n

La basse sonne comme une serviette de bain humide.<\/p>\n

Tu chantes\u2026 et ta voix te revient dans le cr\u00e2ne, \u00e9paisse, \u00e9trang\u00e8re, l\u00e9g\u00e8rement inqui\u00e9tante.<\/p>\n

Comme si t\u2019\u00e9tais devenu ton propre voisin bruyant.<\/p>\n

Tu voulais te prot\u00e9ger du bruit.<\/p>\n

Tu viens de t\u2019enfermer avec toi-m\u00eame.<\/p>\n

Variante catastrophe<\/h2>\n

L\u2019enfonceur<\/strong><\/p>\n

Il insiste.<\/p>\n

Trop loin.<\/p>\n

Quelqu\u2019un intervient avec :<\/p>\n

    \n
  • une pince \u00e0 \u00e9piler<\/li>\n
  • un doigt douteux<\/li>\n
  • une technique invent\u00e9e sur le moment<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Niveau de confiance : maximal.
    \nNiveau de comp\u00e9tence : nul.<\/p>\n

    Une fois que t\u2019as pass\u00e9 le cap de l\u2019eau savonneuse et du pote \u00e0 la lampe frontale qui trifouille dans ton oreille \u00e0 23h dans un circle pit\u2026<\/p>\n

    C\u2019est fini.<\/p>\n

    Croix-Rouge.<\/p>\n

    T\u00e9moignage traumatique.<\/p>\n

    Dignit\u00e9 \u00e9corn\u00e9e.<\/p>\n

    Moralit\u00e9<\/h2>\n

    La pr\u00e9vention auditive est essentielle.<\/p>\n

    Mais elle ne prot\u00e8ge pas :<\/p>\n

      \n
    • de l\u2019enthousiasme<\/li>\n
    • de l\u2019alcool<\/li>\n
    • ni des id\u00e9es de merde<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Et en festival, tout commence bien et finit avec quelqu\u2019un qui dit :<\/p>\n

      \u00ab J\u2019ai le bouchon coinc\u00e9. \u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n

      Entre deux rots \u00e0 la bi\u00e8re.<\/p>\n

      Tu voulais sauver tes oreilles.<\/p>\n

      T\u2019as perdu ton calme.<\/p>\n

      Et parfois, un peu de ton audition quand m\u00eame.<\/p>\n

      Bref.<\/p>\n

      Le stand est irr\u00e9prochable.<\/p>\n

      Le reste\u2026 c\u2019est nous.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      (S\u00e9rie hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. Aujourd\u2019hui : le stand de pr\u00e9vention auditive et les bouchons d\u2019oreilles. Autopsie d\u2019un d\u00e9sastre annonc\u00e9) Je viens d\u2019une \u00e9poque o\u00f9 on ne se prot\u00e9geait pas les oreilles. Rien. Z\u00e9ro. On pensait que nos tympans \u00e9taient r\u00e9utilisables. Que \u00ab \u00e7a va \u00bb (faux). Qu\u2019ils allaient encaisser des amplis \u00e0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1019,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,30],"tags":[1434,289,1436,42,207,268,293,1435,1433,1219,1359],"class_list":["post-1018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cartographie-de-fosse","category-zones","tag-bouchons-doreilles","tag-cartographie-de-festival","tag-concert","tag-festival","tag-fosse","tag-fosse-commune","tag-humour-festival","tag-prevention-auditive","tag-protection-auditive","tag-securite-festival","tag-serie-hivernale"],"yoast_head":"\nLA PR\u00c9VENTION AUDITIVE, OU COMMENT TOUT FAIRE BIEN ET RATER QUAND M\u00caME - Fosse Commune<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fossecommune.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/18\/la-prevention-auditive-ou-comment-tout-faire-bien-et-rater-quand-meme\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"LA PR\u00c9VENTION AUDITIVE, OU COMMENT TOUT FAIRE BIEN ET RATER QUAND M\u00caME - Fosse Commune\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(S\u00e9rie hivernale en attendant les migrations festivali\u00e8res. Aujourd\u2019hui : le stand de pr\u00e9vention auditive et les bouchons d\u2019oreilles. Autopsie d\u2019un d\u00e9sastre annonc\u00e9) Je viens d\u2019une \u00e9poque o\u00f9 on ne se prot\u00e9geait pas les oreilles. Rien. Z\u00e9ro. On pensait que nos tympans \u00e9taient r\u00e9utilisables. Que \u00ab \u00e7a va \u00bb (faux). 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